The holidays suck. I’ve applied to about 8 jobs, half of which I applied online and still nothing. So the short and short is that I have no income and I’m not signing on the job seekers if I’m going back to college. It seems like cheating the system and I don’t want to go to prison xD
Anyway, I have to be dependant on the food in the house and this is annoying because the food is so high calorie .-. I miss my jellies and I’ve run out of crispbread. I have to eat bread and it’s tearing me apart. I’ve managed to get away with tearing the crusts off. The crusts are where the fat and oils bake out to form (which I why I never eat heel/end slices) and hopefully I can cut out a few unnessicary calories that way.
I’ve managed to scrape the bottom of the barrel with the calories today at around 1600kcal. (Fuck!) But I’m hoping that, having been good the past two or three the scales won’t explode on me. One or two 1600kcal days a week can’t be that bad! I just need to re-inforce my drive, keep myself motivated, double my efforts. I will not be 196lbs again. Period.